My Father Used to Say
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Forward
Your Career and Money
Your Goals and Conduct
Your Relationships
Communication
Personal Improvement
Sitemap
Table of Contents
by
John D. Toellner
Forward
The reason this book was written
The process used for writing this book
Your Career and Money
Big successes come from a series of small successes
Things that get done immediately always get done
Good decisions are based on accurate information
Your potential is that set of outstanding skills that you will carry unused to your grave
Assumptions are the breeding ground of screw-ups
In a confrontation guess who wins
People make first judgements on image; have a good one
A single voice is lost in the wilderness; an organization can have an impact
If you want to know how someone will behave in the future look to the past
You can't improve everything at once; tackle issues one at a time in priority sequence
When you have made your point or sold your deal, shut up
The final test is whether it works or not; if it works leave it alone; if not fix it
Two possible outcomes: results; and reasons for not producing results
Give a new venture time to succeed
Most organizations succeed by stumbling from crisis to crisis
Idea acceptance follows personal acceptance
Choose solutions that capture 80% of the benefits with 20% of the effort
Credibility is earned, not given
Never complain to anyone that can't do anything about it
The first law of the jungle, swinging from limb to limb
The second law of the jungle: 900 pound gorillas get to sit wherever they want
Compensation follows contribution
Money is not happiness, but it is surely a great lubricant to the process
Money is spent in increments of dollars, but it is saved a penny at a time
Your Goals and Conduct
The odds of reaching an objective go up if you plan
If you want a meeting to be productive
Goals are powerful -- set clear ones and then stand back and let the process work
The person that gets things done always keeps a clear focus on the end objectives
You will be judged a good manager by the quality of decisions you make
If there is something you want, deny them what they want, until they give you what you want
Your Relationships
Never put yourself in the position where someone can do you harm by telling the truth
Being right is a true narcotic
Being absolutely open and honest is the only way to compensate for a poor memor
y
Only offer advice as often as people ask for it - you won't get many takers
You won't be able to openly share yourself until you are willing to put yourself at risk
If you want your life to run without upsets keep your agreements
Until you openly admit your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them
True liberation comes from taking responsibility
Children don't come from you - they come through you
The ghost of incomplete relationships will haunt you - go back and complete them
Courtesy works - and is contagious
Friendships are like houseplants - they need constant watering to survive
You can't say one thing and do something else people will not believe what you say
Helping is deadly while assisting brings value to people's lives
Love children - save punishment for the issues that can cause them permanent harm
Don't overreact when unpopular issues are brought up
Relationships would improve if both people would state what it would take to make it
If one person admits to the other he was wrong, and the other person rejects him
When your relationships aren't working you bull it through on your own - strange isn't it?
If you really want to be over there, and right now you are over here .....
Whenever you hear yourself say, "it's either him or me" -- remember --it will be you
Communication
The ability to communicate to others
The vital skill in communications is listening - not talking
The key to acceptance is to be interested, not interesting
Be aware of your body language - it may tell a different story than your words
Peoples minds don't grasp words too well, but they can quickly focus on pictures
A good memory impresses people
People love to be told stories - never give them raw facts, tell a story
Vocabulary is power - know lots of words well and use them precisely
Each person communicates with a unique style - match your style to theirs
Never bluff - admit you don't know and go find the accurate information
Be effective in your presentations--present your material in your natural style
Personal Improvement
There are certain "prison words"; avoid using them
Life is like a savings bank - you must make deposits in order to make withdrawals
To make life work, choose what you already have
Many people spend their entire lives rowing against the current
There is no lasting satisfaction from "getting there"; enjoy the process
Being in a bad mood or feeling low in energy are choices you make
Maintain a balance of activities that are of value to you
Minimize both regrets and remorse
As I think I am - if you never think it first, it will never be
Don't be afraid to venture into forbidden territory occasionally
The thing that compels us to get out of bed in the morning
Richness in life comes from enjoyment of things familiar
A necessary part of life's satisfaction is knowing you have made a meaningful contribution
Learn to listen to your body
The mouth is the escape valve for tensions
Get your plateaus up!
Copyright © 2002 John D. Toellner, All rights reserved
