The Key To Acceptance Is To Be Interested, Not Interesting.
People Aren't Really Interested In What You Are Doing Or Saying Only In What They Are Doing Or Saying.

This is the cardinal rule of being a good conversationalist. An interesting story I heard some time ago (it may be true or not) is of a lady who had the pleasure of sitting next to two British Prime Ministers at dinners on two successive weeks. The first week was Lord George, and the second was Disraeli. After the experiences someone asked her to compare the two. Her reply was, "After sitting next to Lord George I concluded he was the most important person in the world. After sitting next to Disraeli I concluded I was the most important person in the world". Disraeli was intensely interested in her, not in talking about himself.

When you observe successful talk show hosts on Television, seldom will you find them talking about themselves. Rather, they are filled with questions for the guest of the week. Of course that's their job, but it serves as a convenient showcase to gain the feeling of being with a person who doesn't talk about themselves. Most men LOVE to talk about themselves, and ladies successful in attracting men encourage them to the hilt.

Try going on a "diet" of not talking about yourself for a whole day, Very, very difficult to do. Not a bad drill for becoming comfortable in being primarily interested in the other person.

©  2002 John D. Toellner, All Rights Reserved