| There is no
obvious course to enroll in to learn how to be a parent. Your first child
often becomes the training vehicle for the others. I had spent a short
time in the military and observed that strong disciple made the system
work. It seemed obvious to me that some of these lessons applied to raising
children. In a very broad sense I suppose it does, but not as it comes
out of the book. With our first child we started with an assumption that
children live in an adults world and need to learn how to behave in that
environment. As an example we left our good belongings on the coffee table
and did endless hand slapping to keep the little guy from touching things.
With the other two we took everything off the coffee table and spent the
time on more constructive things than hand slapping for this type of issue.
When it comes to touching things that will burn, running into the street
with cars present and the like, rapid and sharp punishment is in order.
In non-crises times love and other rewards can be used to reinforce
good behavior that will keep them from harm, but when imminent danger
lurks quick action is needed to leave an indelible impression. If I
had to do it again I would cut the punishment by 90% and raise the hugging
and acknowledgment a thousand fold. |
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