Being Right Is A True Narcotic.
It Will Give You A Short Term Exhilarating High But Leads To A Long Term Destructive Result.
If Your Goal In Life Is To Be Right You Will Destroy Every Relationship You Have.

Of all the suggestions in this book this one ranks near the top. It is incredible the harm people do to themselves-- and to others-- for the purpose of being right. Being right has two sides to it. One is the good feeling that comes from winning when you convince someone you are right, and the other is the bad feeling that comes from losing, or losing face. This double whammy gives this process a lot of power.

Hardly an hour goes by without someone, (even those we consider to be effective people), trying to be right, at the expense of achieving something more important. Let's look at some examples:

• Some parents and their children haven't spoken for many years because of some hardly remembered event. Each side obviously thinks their position is right.

• Some kids sacrifice promising careers, and turn to drugs and a rebellious lifestyle for the sole purpose of proving their parents wrong.

The list could go on and on. One tragedy of this process is that "being right" is on one end of a balance beam with "things turning out right" on the other. Once the game of who's right and who's wrong starts, the balance beam tips and progress toward an objective stops. You can't have both, take your pick. 

©  2002 John D. Toellner, All Rights Reserved