If You Want To Appear Real To Someone You Must Share The Real You.
You Won't Be Able To Openly Share Yourself Until You Are Willing To Put Yourself At Risk

At a self improvement seminar I attended I found most of the 100 or so people in the group were faceless to me, but a smaller group of a dozen or so were very real to me. The difference was that the later group chose to be open and share very personal, in-depth items with the group. Box-score 90 faceless, 10 real. I remember one case in particular. The man was an older business man who was a bit of a trouble maker to the group, (and easy to ignore), until the final day when he shared with the group how he got in touch with what was going on with him. He stated he had been unable to see that he was very much afraid of dying, and was also fearful of admitting that to anyone. He saw that his behavior was driven by this fear and it blocked him from living in the present. The revelation was so touching that everyone's heart went out to him. After the meeting many people wanted to talk with him (including me). He was REAL to us.

His ability to share his insight with the group was based partially on his observation, over time, that the group could be trusted. Once the trust was established, the sharing could take place. Once the sharing took place, he became real to all of us.

©  2002 John D. Toellner, All Rights Reserved