Only Offer Advice As Often As People Ask For It
You Won't Get Many Takers

The leader of a seminar I once took commented on how each of us think we are a little smarter than the average person and automatically think we are a little (or more) superior. The mind blower was when he had us look at the person to our left, then the person to our right, and realize both of them felt superior to ME! I have concluded that from this built-in feeling of superiority has grown the need to offer advice to others, whether they need it or not!

If advice is to be given, what is needed is to first get agreement from the other person that:

  1. They want a coach in the area in question
  2. They want you as a coach.

When children are young they have a large appetite for receiving advice, and most often look to parents and other adults as their coaches. No problem.

As they get older and become adults they lose their built-in appetite for coaching. When unsolicited advice is given, big problem. There are few more distasteful interactions than receiving advice you didn't ask for. I strongly recommend you get agreement on the two above items before you jump into the advice giving business.

©  2002 John D. Toellner, All Rights Reserved